we need a corgi, and now, I like spinach

My little brother texted me last night saying he's thinking about becoming a vegetarian. Obviously my first response was "heck yeah, brah!" but then the second was "uh, why?" because my brother is not one of those fruit and veggie loving people. Not that I am either, really, but I'm getting there, and it's pretty awesome. I've even learned to like spinach. Now that is a big step. Anyway, it turns out he watched Forks Over Knives the other day and it was some kind of game changer? Have you guys seen it? You'd think I would have, but nope. #badvegetarian

The whole eating vege thing is going pretty well. I've messed up a few times (okay, more than a few - but let's keep that on the DL) but overall, I'm really proud of myself. It's definitely a permanent lifestyle choice.

Once A finally woke up yesterday we did a bunch of shopping and a lot of walking and also some eating and napping, which is a pretty good Sunday in my book. Funny story time: we saw a guy biking who looked a lot like one of my environmental professors (who I'm kind of in love with). Both of us took off running towards the guy, A screaming, "Rich! Rich!" Guess who the guy on the bike wasn't? Rich. Guess who got the you're a freakkkk stares? We did. 

Mmmmm what else ... I'm working on speaking my mind a lot lately. A's been getting on me about it; saying what you mean instead of sugarcoating things needlessly. It feels pretty good. In return, I'm trying to convince him that we need a Corgi post-graduation. I think we're both making some good progress. 

Another thing I'm working on - loving people where they're at. I'm not perfect (wait, what?) and I have got to stop expecting other people to be. It might be even more ridiculous to expect myself to stop expecting so much of others but hey, time will tell.

There's something really nice about not having absolutely anything to say, isn't there? Liberating and shiz. I taught my work people to end all their sentences using the phrase "and shiz." It's going swimmingly. 

The end. 

ham and chocolate rabbits

As I sit in my office, coughing up gunk and praying that a lung doesn't come up with it, I'm thinking about Easter with my family. Both extended sides of my family, as well as the immediate unit of parentals, brother, and I, are a little ... wonky.

As in disfunctional.  Highly disfunctional.

And there was a lot of really uncomfortable tension yesterday because my dad doesn't get along with my mom's family, and vice versa, and also because of the ham.

I don't eat ham - that's what it means to be a vegetarian. And yes, I have messed up before and eaten things that probably would be considered meat, but I had no intention of doing so yesterday. Which really offended my family. I wasn't impolite about it - made no rude comments or faces, said nothing offensive ... I simply reminded them that although the ham looked delicious, I've decided not to eat meat anymore, but thank you very much anyway.

And that should have been the end of it, but it wasn't. All of them insisted on being personally offended, very loudly, for the next hour.

"Emily, the ham's really good! You should try some."

"Ham is a vegetable, ha ha"

"What's wrong with the ham?"

"You're hurting your grandmother's feelings."

"Here, just eat a little piece."

And then they actually started waving it in my face and trying to make me eat it.

Having the temper that I have, and given the choice of escaping or yelling loudly at my own family, my brother and I opted to escape outside with our candy.

So we sat on the front porch in the sun and talked about how strange people can be, and I said a bunch of prayers under my breath thanking Jesus for coming back and asking him to not let me kill my family. And then I ate too many Sour Patch Kids and got really sick.

The End.

the principles behind a squash

via

I had principles for lunch today, and they taste like butternut squash.

You guys, I am having a hard time with this vegetarian thing. I love vegetables. Seriously love them. My parents always had a garden when I was growing up, and I spent a lot of summer mornings outside with my dad, eating more than weeding, but learning nonetheless. Spending that time gave me an appreciation for things that came from the earth, and for the feeling of caring for something myself, and ultimately reaping the benefits. So I don't dislike healthy things - I really, really love them, and I feel great when I eat them.

BUT. (you knew it was coming). This stupid squash. Why am I eating this?

I just really want some hot wings, okay? Or a good steak. Or ribs covered in barbeque sauce. Or an entire rotissere chicken. I'm not desperate.

I've been giving it a lot of thought based on things I've been reading online and in class, and via some good old-fashioned introspection. It's not the idea of eating meat that I mind. Not at all. We raised steers, pigs, and chickens in addition to our garden, and my dad would bring a deer back every fall. I worked in the deli section of a grocery store. I know where meat comes from. I don't have any delusions or princess ideas about it.

So here's the conclusion I've come to: if I can find good, healthy, humanely raised and killed meat, I will eat it. In small portions. And I will enjoy it. But I refuse to support an agricultural system that forces chemicals and God-knows-what-else into our foods and bodies. 

Our system - there's just so much wrong with it. So many faults. So many consumer ignorances that are happening and things we don't control. It would take pages and pages to even scratch the surface of the problem. It makes me so angry. I don't know what I can do about it right now. I'm still learning. But I will not put bad things in my body to the extent that I have power over ... And that's why I ate squash for lunch.

Just for the record, that bad stuff is in our vegetables too. Our fruit. Our grains. But in smaller portions. When you eat meat, you're eating an animal that has consumed all of those chemicals in its own feed. You're eating a collection of all those chemicals: biomagnification. And it collects in our bodies too. So when in doubt, and when it's affordable, I try to buy organic everything else too. I'm a college student. Money isn't the easiest thing to come by these days.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. I don't claim to know a lot about the body or biological processes. But I know what I've read and what I believe. Being the kind of person that needs to have solid convictions - these are mine.  

lately



 oh, the crazy things I've been putting in my body lately



I've always had this crazy dream of trying a New York City hot dog.

You know, the kind from the really sketchy street vendors

that could be made up of God-knows-what

but they still have this smell to them that just screams

"eat me!"

I've always wanted to try one.

Well, I didn't try one on this trip.

I wanted to. Terribly badly.

But I stuck to my guns.

Instead, I've been eating a lot of grapes and crackers

and A and I made some fantastic avocado sandwiches

while I was with his family for a few days.

Go me.

Hopefully I can cover my six day New York to Maryland trip

in detail later,

but for now let's say that it was

legen -wait for it - dary

and that I am so very grateful for the people in my life.

My girls from Scotland and my favorite guy

are right up there on that list.

Oh, and I went to the gynecologist for the first time ever yesterday,

after successfully avoiding it for years.

Not so bad.

But having a conversation about your life plans

while some little old man is poking around in your lady parts?

Not my idea of a good morning.

(He did think my side tattoo was pretty sweet though).

And to those of you who started following while I was away - thank you!!

I never expected anyone to follow this blog.

It's nothing more than a collection of my thoughts,

which I wouldn't expect to be interesting to anyone.

But to come back and see that you guys are interested,

amused,

entertained,

whatever,

It was the nicest of surprises :) 

So if there's something you enjoy or want to see more of -

please, let me know!

squats

I have come up with a new way of staying awake at work.

For anyone interested.

Whenever I get bored or restless,

which is often,

I make myself do squats.

(For extra fun and shaping action, try it in heels).

Motivation guaranteed.

Trust me,

it's hard to sit around and do nothing

when your bum feels like it's on fire.

This is additionally necessary because,
since I've become a born again (again) vege,
and meat is off the menu,
I've been substituting with cookies.
There has to be a better way.

whatafail

Good news, you guys.

After two days of being a vegetarian,

I fell off the bandwagon.

TWO.

I'm not even a good bandwagoner, as it turns out.

I was doing really well until last night,

when I got home and made myself a snack because I was going to my grandmother's house for dinner,

and she was making a roast.

Not veggie food.

So I made myself a nice little wrap with cheese and tomatoes 

and was pretty happy until I went to put the extras back in the fridge and saw ...

RIBS.

And that was the end of that. 

About five minutes after I finished 

shoveling them in my mouth eating,

I got that sinking, remorseful feeling in my stomach.

Oops. 

Then I proceeded to have an really intense intellectual debate about

doing things you know you shouldn't

and giving into temptation

and thought about Romans 7 for a while.

I'll spare you the gory details, but it was deep.

Yeah, so I'm going veg (again).

Starting over today.

[I won't tell if you won't.]