I would just like to clear this up

... I am *not* a lesbian.

Which isn't to say that there's anything wrong with being one, but I've just never leaned in that particular direction. And no one's ever questioned me about it, until some saucy little twelve year old climbed the steps of my porch last night, reached for some candy, saw some costume, and asked if I was a lesbian protesting. 

This is what I was wearing:

(Yes, that would be Chris slapping me)

A sign that said "Eat Mor Chikin." Guys, I was a Chik fil A cow for three reasons.

1. I'm poor
2. I'm lazy
3. It's outrageously easy to trace their sign

Plus, that whole uproar thing? So totally two months ago. 

Also, I'd just like to put out there that this twelve year old had a little side of sass himself.  Picture this: fat kid with glasses in a homemade Easy Mac costume (picture spray painted toilet paper rolls), peering at me over his frames, asking if I was a lesbian, because his parents were very offended.

I *almost* said "no, do you have a girlfriend?" But the odds were in his favor. I did, however, tell him to drop the candy if he was offended (He didn't).

I hate kids.

What I do not hate though? Fat babies in pumpkin costumes, best friends, and lots of food. Oh, and for the record, we had 276 kids come to our house last night (that's like 271 more than ever came to my parents' house!)

I hope everyone had an amazing Halloween :)

happiness.

via

It was funny, as I was laying waiting for sleep last night, in my new place, in my own bed, I wasn't anxious or worried or missing home. 

All I could think was how lucky I am, and how proud I am to have made it work. 

My roommate is a complete sweetheart, there is a one-eyed cat named Monster and a skinny little cat named Lily, and a tiny dog with a big attitude that follows me around with his head cocked to one side and gets excited over the tiniest things. 

There is a train that comes through town at 3 in the morning, and a fridge full of fruits that I bought for myself, with money that I earned at a job I'm lucky to have, even if it isn't my dream. 

This isn't where I saw myself a year ago, or 6 months, or even 3. But it is a good place to be, and I'm happy to stay a while. 

a place to lay your head

Moving is exhausting, that's all there is to it. This has been one of the better weekends of my life so far - even better since I have off work tomorrow. 

More - read, "better" - pictures to come soon :)

this was hard to do.

No one ever said growing up would be easy. No one said finding an apartment would be easy. Thank God. If someone says that to me, I’ll punch them.

On Thursday I found out that the girl I was looking for apartments with can’t afford to do it anymore.

Friday afternoon, I found a place that I loved with every ounce of myself.

On Saturday, A’s entire family drove up from Maryland to look at the apartment of my dreams with me, I fell even deeper in love and put a deposit down on it.

On Sunday I found out I got the apartment.

Sunday night I realized that even though I loved it, I could just barely afford it. I could but it would be a lot of barely scraping by.

So this morning, I had to let it go.

I cried a lot about it. I want so badly to be independent, in a place that I love.  

It seems like I keep getting close, and then it slips away again.
It is so frustrating.

I guess this is adulthood though - learning how to give up what you want dearly now for the promise of a better future.

apartments and such

My best friend of seven years and I are apartment hunting. Now that I've graduated and she's starting online classes, it seems the world is telling us that it's time to move out and move up in life. Except, as we're finding, the two don't necessarily equate. Moving out, it's looking like, is going to mean some serious downgrading. We weren't not expecting that, honestly. There was no fantasy about the "perfect" place, that was cheap but charming, like in Friends or How I Met Your Mother, but to sit down and actually write out all the numbers and see how much we'll be spending - on top of student loans and other payments - is overwhelming.  What kind of heat? Is water and sewer included? What kind of vacuum should we buy? What about furniture? Is Craigslist safe to buy things off of? 


So, like any mature adults would do, we closed our laptops, got out the Ben and Jerry's, and watched The Proposal instead.