all you can do sometimes

I've always thought one of the coolest things about animals is how they can tell you're having a bad day. I mean, people can too, but they get weird about it - stay away from you or try to smother you, or they talk too much about all the wrong things. 

So some days I prefer animals to people, you know? They don't say much (imagine that), but they do love you. With cuddles. And sometimes that's the best kind of love. 

we need a corgi, and now, I like spinach

My little brother texted me last night saying he's thinking about becoming a vegetarian. Obviously my first response was "heck yeah, brah!" but then the second was "uh, why?" because my brother is not one of those fruit and veggie loving people. Not that I am either, really, but I'm getting there, and it's pretty awesome. I've even learned to like spinach. Now that is a big step. Anyway, it turns out he watched Forks Over Knives the other day and it was some kind of game changer? Have you guys seen it? You'd think I would have, but nope. #badvegetarian

The whole eating vege thing is going pretty well. I've messed up a few times (okay, more than a few - but let's keep that on the DL) but overall, I'm really proud of myself. It's definitely a permanent lifestyle choice.

Once A finally woke up yesterday we did a bunch of shopping and a lot of walking and also some eating and napping, which is a pretty good Sunday in my book. Funny story time: we saw a guy biking who looked a lot like one of my environmental professors (who I'm kind of in love with). Both of us took off running towards the guy, A screaming, "Rich! Rich!" Guess who the guy on the bike wasn't? Rich. Guess who got the you're a freakkkk stares? We did. 

Mmmmm what else ... I'm working on speaking my mind a lot lately. A's been getting on me about it; saying what you mean instead of sugarcoating things needlessly. It feels pretty good. In return, I'm trying to convince him that we need a Corgi post-graduation. I think we're both making some good progress. 

Another thing I'm working on - loving people where they're at. I'm not perfect (wait, what?) and I have got to stop expecting other people to be. It might be even more ridiculous to expect myself to stop expecting so much of others but hey, time will tell.

There's something really nice about not having absolutely anything to say, isn't there? Liberating and shiz. I taught my work people to end all their sentences using the phrase "and shiz." It's going swimmingly. 

The end. 

saturday morning pretties

I'm heading down to see A again today :) But he isn't awake yet (the danger of dating a non-morning person when you are one, I suppose) so I thought I'd show you some of the things I picked up at Joann Fabrics yesterday. 

I shouldn't have gone in there, and I knew it the second I stepped inside. Sort of like one of those moths that go right for the flame, knowing full well they're going to be zapped. Couldn't help it though. I think the sales lady knew it too; she got my information on their mailing list good and quick. So I find myself with a random gorgeous box, two fat quarters,  iron-on transfer paper, and that dazed feeling that comes when you get blindsided by something like you love. Damn you, Joann. Damn you and your craftiness. 

Friday's Letters

So, it's Friday again. And how that happened when I feel like I just woke up Monday morning, already angry at the week ahead ... well, I don't know. But thank you, Friday, for getting here so darn fast!

Dear A - I don't know how many times I'm going to say that I love you here, but add one more to that number. I can't wait for you to graduate so we can figure out our next steps together. Oh, and we need to watch more soccer games together with your crazy friends.  What is it about sitting with the loudest people in the stands that's both embarrassing and exhilarating? 
Dear Campus Safety officer who gave me a ticket at Ursinus - Please. I gave you my life savings and my first kidney and my paychecks for the next however many years. You think I'm going to pay you because I parked in a staff spot after hours? Ha. What're you going to do - hunt me down an hour away? 

 

Dear Texxy - You are the freaking cutest dog I've ever seen, not even kidding. Maybe it's because I've never had a dog before, but coming home to your little face and you trying to knock me over every day, well, it's the coolest thing ever. 
Dear work - Okay, so New Orleans in two weeks. Hugest industry conference in the world, and it's my first time going. I got this? I got this. 
Dear people of the blog world - Does Biotin actually work? Ever since I died the ever-loving bajezus out of my hair this summer, things haven't been looking so hot. 
Dear self - 8 am is entirely too early to start throwing around words like "fortuitous," especially when your boss is already exhausted looking. Not everyone appreciates your obnoxious SAT vocab. 
Happy Friday guys :)

I Believe In ...

Linking up with Erin at Living In Yellow today :)

I Believe In ...

Making at least one person's day, every day

Best friends, the kind you can text and say "I'm making dinner at your house tonight" 

and they welcome you with open arms and a cheese grater

or at the Cheesecake Factory. either way.

Eating homemade Mac & Cheese until you can't move, and laughing until 

it hurts

Honesty, always

Boyfriends that are your best friend, unconditionally, and never let you forget it

(and also our friend Travis. hey there, Travis)

Old black and white love movies

The healing power of Meg Ryan

best scene ever, yes?

Learning how to stand up for yourself

Puppies

Having fun with your parents - and learning how to appreciate them

The beauty of grace

Cowboy boots, good food, and that a good hug can fix

almost anything 

Never taking yourself too seriously 

ahem.

What do you believe in today?

why women shouldn't write

Have you guys heard about the BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pens? Not yet? Well, you're welcome.

Last night, my Juliefriend emailed me with very important news, as she usually does. Apparently, BIC has come out with a line of "just for women" ballpoint pens. How are they "just for women?" Well, even though they write in black like a "normal" pen, they come in delicate, feminine crystalline shells with a "sleek design" ... I'm sorry, I can't write anymore. I'm laughing too hard.

People all over the internet are going crazy over these. The reviews I've read are beyond hilarious. Oh, and the Brits are in on the review bandwagon too. So you know they're going to be good!

Some of my favorites:

I'm dying. Please, please go read more of these. Unless you're easily offended, I suppose. Or are against female humor. You might not like them so much then.

To the rest of you who stuck around - obviously I'm going out to pick up some of these fantabulous pens pronto ... who wants to go to Target?!

Me Myself & I

Happy Tuesday! Today I'm linking up with Breanna, Shane, Kristen, Danielle, Jenna, and Amanda for their Me Myself & I link up party!
1. When you're feeling down, what do you do to pick yourself up? Depending how crappy I feel, any of the following: Eat. A lot. Go for a run. Watch She's the Man (this is for serious emergencies) Buy something frivolous like nail polish or tea.
2. If you had to live in a different time period, which would you prefer? Hands down, the mid to late 1800's. For a few years I was involved in Civil War re-enacting and I loved every second of it. Although sleeping outside in tents I maybe could have done without.
3. What is the most creative Halloween costume you've ever worn? When I was little, my parents used to make my brother and I the craziest costumes! One year I was a zombie and my brother wore a cardboard box with just his head cut out and a  pot on top. When our neighbors opened their door, I pulled the pot off his head and they screamed ...  it was a great Halloween :)

4. Name five weird things about yourself we've never know otherwise.  - two of my toes on each foot are slightly webbed together - I will never, ever eat a brussel sprout - libraries are one of my favorite places. A teases me because I say they "smell like knowledge." He says they smell like cat ladies. - people with bad tempers terrify me - I am absolutely terrified of having babies

5. What would you tell your 16 year old self?  That older guy is nothing but trouble. Run - don't walk - away.

Abroad

You may not know this, but there was a time when I spent a semester in Edinburgh, the capital of Scotland. I don't talk about it much because it seems like another time, another life - something that will always be a part of me, and in a way, define me. Anyone who has studied or spent any length of time abroad can attest to this. The life-changing moments, the things you learn, the ways you grow, and how you change-learn-grow, again, when you come home. 

Here's something else you didn't know: I miss it.

I miss it more than I thought possible, more than I could have imagined missing anything in my entire life. Somehow, it was the best and worst time I can recall. 

I spent six months in Scotland, several weekends in England, three days in Paris, four in Venice, and a week in La Spezia. Countless hours in trains, buses, subways, hostels. Hours I resented sometimes would would give a kidney to get back. Months I've recounted thousands of times in my mind.

If I wrote about it - if I could use my pictures and my memory and my words to show it to you - would you read it? Would you want to know?

I don't know how long it will take to do this. It doesn't worry me, either. There are other things in life to talk about, and this will be a smattering of tales among other life stories. I hope you'll come back and hear my stories, and hope even more that the telling of them makes it easier. 

7 Questions with Gentri Lee

Everybody likes "7 Questions," right? 

Maybe not. Maybe you're just going to push the little "x" on my tab and that's okay because work sucks today, A got me sick when I went to visit yesterday, I got a stupid parking ticket that I have to deal with now (not deserved, btw), and my stupid pinky is bent back from not being able to catch footballs, and so this is the most inspired I can get today. 

You're welcome.

1. Do you have any weird food combinations that you love?
Hmmm. I'm one of those weird people who mixes all their Thanksgiving food together, pours gravy on top and calls it a day. At least I used to be ... not sure if this works so well (or so deliciously) vegetarian style. 

2. Have you ever written a blog post, published it, then immediately deleted it?
Absolutely never. 

3. What is a hair style you wish you could pull off, but would never be brave enough to try?
Red hair. Beautiful, beautiful reddish auburn hair. The maintenance ... oh gawd.

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4. Would you rather have to always use the sun to tell the time or directions by the stars?Definitely the sun. Either way, if it was cloudy I'd be screwed.

5. What is a fall trend that you are excited to try?

Ohhhh mustard yellow. And burgandy. And dark nails. And boots. So many boots. 

6. Who is your style icon?
Kate Middleton. Lady is classy. I don't think she's made a single faux pas yet. And she does her own hair and make-up. Sometimes I pretend she's the older sister I never had. Maybe I would have skipped all those awkward years?

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7. What's your favorite outdoor activity? 
Hiking. Definitely hiking. There's something about going new places and being one with nature and getting your inner Pocahontas on that just gets me all giddy on the inside. Either that or laying on the beach. Sleeping is totally an activity. 

How To: Keep it SSC

On my blogroll lately I've been seeing a lot of relationshippy advice-type things. They range from shockingly honest to cute and everywhere in between, and I've been getting an absolute kick out of reading them. So I thought I'd share my own personal tips, and then my top 3 lists from other bloggers.

From (almost) 23 years, I've learned a lot. Not that I've been dating for 23 years, that would be gross, but I guess there have been boys in my life for that long? So, you know, I've got a lifetime of knowledge. [Bonus points for naming that movie!] Either way, there are really only three big things you need to remember:

This goes for what you say, how you dress, how you act ... how you live in general, even, and not even pertaining to relations of the manlier sex.

1. Keep it Simple. Boys have different brains than we do. You might have noticed this by now. For the most part, they don't like clutter. This goes for outfits and conversations, and sometimes food, depending on the dude. Your guy wants to appreciate you. He cares about what's going on in your life, he likes when you make an effort to look good for him. Don't make it hard on the guy. Tell him how you feel, tell him what you want, tell him you love him. Wear things that are flattering, and not confusing. You go throwing in all sorts of statement necklaces and wacky prints and shoes that don't match your socks and his brain goes on overload.

2. Keep it Sexy. This is very much related to number one. Chances are that if you're with someone, he already finds you attractive. At least, that's the idea. Do the man a favor. Flirt with him a little. Let him know that you think he's great. Make him laugh, hold his hand, don't play stupid. If you have eyelashes, do that batting thing that I can never do. If you can't wink, don't try. Oh, and in case you haven't deciphered man-code yet, be confident. Confidence is sexy.

3. Keep it Classy. Your SO doesn't want to hear all about the women you hate in your classes/sorority/work place/mom's group. He doesn't want to know about what who said to who, and he doesn't want to hear you trash talk other girls. Even the best of us do it sometimes - it's just human. But the boy isn't the right person for that - that's what God gave us girlfriends for. Utilize them. This goes for clothes, too. Especially when you're in a relationship or stalking a specific someone. My mother is a firm advocate of the theory that the way you dress dictates the attention you're going to get, and I believe it too. If you aren't a street walker, please, please don't dress like one. You're worth more than that.

If you made it through all that - congratulations! You're three steps closer to understanding the elusive "man brain." And without further ado, my top three lists from other bloggers, and why you should read them!

1. Girl Code over at Shades of Gray and a Pinch of Pink: Everything Erin writes is absolutely hilarious, it's just a fact, but this is one of her best posts (at least, in my opinion). She advocates eating in front of your date, being honest - to a point, and bathroom etiquitte. [always important]

2. Raven did this little post earlier in the week called I Dress For Men. It's sort of blown up on the internet. You've read it? Then I need say no more. If you haven't ... fix that.

3. This morning, Jenni at Story of My Life posted a response to Raven's post, all about compromise, and how far you would go to please your man. This one really made me think a lot. This is something A and I talk about sometimes - how to compromise - and it's hard, but as Jenni talks about, it's worth it.

All of these posts are great, and there's a lot more coming in still! I know we're all got thoughts on this ... so let's hear them :)

not often enough

There's something about the seasons changing that makes you want to take a step back.

Take a step, take a second, look around you.

Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm just getting older and trying to be wiser but

I want to do things better,

I want to be better,

I want to do good things with this life I've been given. 

The past week and all that has happened over it has given me new eyes and

a glimpse of the life that I should be living,

not just the surface we skim the top of every day,

trying to get to the weekend, trying to get through the day,

trying to reach reach reach.

How often do I stop and choose to feel everything,

every moment,

through my body to the soles of my feet and breathe it in?

Not often enough. 

It's funny how life goes on, isn't it

Me with Baby J, Tuesday night

It has been the craziest of crazy weeks, and my brain is just ... I don't even know. You know those teacup rides at fairs? The ones that spin you around and around, faster and faster, until you feel like you can't take it anymore? The ones that make you puke and screw with your head for a long time afterward? That would be my week. This post isn't going to make much sense and for that I'm sorry.

I've been in the apartment since Monday night and I know I promised pictures but they'll have to wait, there hasn't been time for anything like that lately. I like being there, I wrote about it on Tuesday, and soon after I wrote it I got a phone call.

One of my best friends was having her first baby - two weeks early. Panic attack, I left work early and drove to get her with her sister, and we were at the hospital until late that night, past my bedtime, but we were there and I saw a baby being born. It was the most incredible thing I've ever seen and also the most disgusting. I am never having children and that story deserves a post of its own someday because I am so, so proud of her and in love with her little man that I can hardly stand it.

Wednesday night one of my sisters was killed in a car accident but I didn't find out until yesterday morning. I wanted to leave work early but I couldn't because of the whole baby being born that week thing, so I sat at my desk and did nothing all afternoon. Completely in shock. I can't conceive of a life there one second and gone the next.

There was a candlelight vigil at 8 so I drove down to Ursinus to be there with my sisters who had come from as far away as New York, and although it was a terrible reason that brought us together I was grateful to see them all, and so thankful to the UC community for all the support and well-wishes. We stood in front of her temporary memorial, holding candles and our arms wrapped around each other, catching each other's pain and tears. Sharing the pain, sharing love. It was so hard. We spent a long time in the Sigma suite afterwards, talking and crying and sharing memories.

A had a soccer game at 10, which I stayed to see. I was still in shock and there were still tears coming out but despite all that, watching him play and cheer on his teammates and be so completely in his zone, I couldn't stop thinking, my God I love that man. 

I don't know where all that was meant to go; sometimes I think you just need to write exactly what you're feeling and that is "lost." I am lost for words for my sisters - my friends - there is no way to explain how accidents happen and why people get taken from us, people we love. Everyone has their own beliefs about life and death and this isn't the time to get into that, but I do wonder why God pulled her so early, when she was in the midst of a life she loved to be in. I am lost and unable to put my feelings into words, I just want to sleep for a long time, but it's funny how life goes on, isn't it, and you just have to pull yourself up and muddle on and do the best with what you've got. 

Inspire Me: Healthy - A Little Lesson in Math

I must be the last person in the world to discover Giant's baked good section, although in hindsight it's probably good that it's taken so long. Do you know what they sell in the baked section? Focaccia bread. 

I hope everyone's up on their math because today's lesson is this:

Focaccia is to Emily what crack is to a crackwhore.
Focaccia is a kind of bread.
Bread is to Emily's butt what helium is to a balloon.
If Emily buys one package of focaccia bread on Tuesday, and consumes it by lunch on Wednesday, what is the average amount of calories heading straight for Emily's thighs per hour?

The verdict: not good.

The only improvement that could be made would be cheese. Tons and tons of cheese. 

Moving on to slightly healthier things.

As you know from last week's post, I ran a 5K this past Saturday! And you know what? It was the most fun I've had since I don't know when. There was running, spinning, skipping, people in fairy princess costumes and a lady in her wedding gown, a whole lot of colored powder, and so many people having a great time. Seriously, if you've never done this - GO. Do it now. It doesn't matter if you walk, run, or cartwheel it, as long as you're having fun.

Which we did. In huge amounts. 

Over 50,000 people showed up! This was even before 8 am

Running through the yellow color station!

After yellow, orange, pink, and blue!

The best afterparty ever - lots of music, dancing, and colored powder flying around!

At the very end :)

This was seriously one of the coolest things I've ever done. If you ever get a chance to do the color run, I highly, highly recommend it!! 

And to those of you wondering - yes, the color does come off. It kind of takes a while though ... I'm still finding pink in my hairline. And armpits. TMI? And there were some super awkward butt stains from us rolling around on the powder-covered ground at the pink station. Which is most definitely TMI.

It's going to be hard topping this week's awesomeness, that's for sure. Later today I'm going to be putting up a video of the color run - so stop back!!

happiness.

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It was funny, as I was laying waiting for sleep last night, in my new place, in my own bed, I wasn't anxious or worried or missing home. 

All I could think was how lucky I am, and how proud I am to have made it work. 

My roommate is a complete sweetheart, there is a one-eyed cat named Monster and a skinny little cat named Lily, and a tiny dog with a big attitude that follows me around with his head cocked to one side and gets excited over the tiniest things. 

There is a train that comes through town at 3 in the morning, and a fridge full of fruits that I bought for myself, with money that I earned at a job I'm lucky to have, even if it isn't my dream. 

This isn't where I saw myself a year ago, or 6 months, or even 3. But it is a good place to be, and I'm happy to stay a while. 

a place to lay your head

Moving is exhausting, that's all there is to it. This has been one of the better weekends of my life so far - even better since I have off work tomorrow. 

More - read, "better" - pictures to come soon :)