this actually happened ...

This is an absolutely 100% legit conversation that occurred over the weekend

in my college house

between two of the new girls that moved in this semester.

They are, as you will see,

very.

 classy individuals

(please read these in the most whiny, stereotypical college-girl voice that you can muster)

Girl 1: Ohmygawd, I'm so ready to go out tonight!
Girl 2: OhmyGAWD, me too!
Girl 1: I'm like, so ready to have a good time
Girl 2: Holy ----, me too! So ready.
Girl 1: Do you like this dress?
Girl 2: You look totally hot.
Girl 1: Do I look bangable?  (*she actually said the word "bangable")
Girl 2: Totally!
Girl 1: Okay, good. I'm totally getting some tonight.
Girl 2: Me too!
Girl 1: Ohmygawd, how awkward would it be if we both brought guys home tonight?
Girl 2: So awkward!
Girl 1: I guess we could take turns ...

At this point, the roomie and I closed our door so as not to hear any more of this

completely enlightening conversation.

And then proceeded to laugh hysterically.

Clearly, Girl 2's role in life is to be

the personal cheerleader of Girl 1.

Which is funny enough on its own.

But apparently later that night, the roomie saw

Girl 1 walking out of the bathroom

completely stark naked (and completely drunk) and back into her room,

where Random Older Guy 1 was waiting.

Girl 2 was nowhere in sight.

Probably waiting her turn.

It's been really hard to say hi to them

and not laugh in their faces at the absurdness that they represent.

I'm so glad I missed out on that mindset.

And that my roomie did as well.

Sometimes I feel like I'm too old for college.

Or, at least, college in the way most people think of it.