November 01, 2012

I would just like to clear this up

... I am *not* a lesbian.

Which isn't to say that there's anything wrong with being one, but I've just never leaned in that particular direction. And no one's ever questioned me about it, until some saucy little twelve year old climbed the steps of my porch last night, reached for some candy, saw some costume, and asked if I was a lesbian protesting. 

This is what I was wearing:


(Yes, that would be Chris slapping me)
A sign that said "Eat Mor Chikin." Guys, I was a Chik fil A cow for three reasons.

1. I'm poor
2. I'm lazy
3. It's outrageously easy to trace their sign

Plus, that whole uproar thing? So totally two months ago. 

Also, I'd just like to put out there that this twelve year old had a little side of sass himself.  Picture this: fat kid with glasses in a homemade Easy Mac costume (picture spray painted toilet paper rolls), peering at me over his frames, asking if I was a lesbian, because his parents were very offended.

I *almost* said "no, do you have a girlfriend?" But the odds were in his favor. I did, however, tell him to drop the candy if he was offended (He didn't).

I hate kids.

What I do not hate though? Fat babies in pumpkin costumes, best friends, and lots of food. Oh, and for the record, we had 276 kids come to our house last night (that's like 271 more than ever came to my parents' house!)









I hope everyone had an amazing Halloween :)

6 comments:

Erin said...

Hahaha this is amazing. I'm stil confused as to why he thought you were a lesbian though...

Amy said...

276?? Woah that is soo many! We had like 15 haha. Looks like a fun Halloween :)

Amanda Schroeder said...

Kids are brats. And like Erin said, that didn't even make sense. I mean..kind of..but who would think of that? Please.

amanda @ we and serendipity

Jordan said...

I don't really get the lesbian thing either. But fat babies in pumpkin costumes are amazing. And food. I always love food.

Ashlyn said...

This is hilarious

Christy said...

I'm so, SO jealous! We only had like 10 kids come...and they were in three group. That means only three door bell rings for the whole night. I was a little disappointed. Mostly because it means we don't live in one of those neighborhoods where kids run around and parents feel like that's okay. Which is what I really want for our future kids. Maybe by then it will have changed into that. Here's to hoping!

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